Someone's been keeping secrets...

But as of just a few days ago, the secret is finally out. D and I are pregnant again!! Our little one is due May 24th, 2012. We are super cautious but very excited. Here's a pic:

Due dates.

Last month, on August 27th, my due date for my first pregnancy passed.

'Tis better to have loved and lost..."

You know the saying... It's basically a positive spin on what is an otherwise heartbreaking experience. It's better to have had something or someone that you loved at least once in your life... Better to have been able to experience that joy... Better to have had the opportunity to feel true love even if it was temporary... Certainly much better than the opposite: to never have experienced it at all. I've been wondering how this applies to my situation for many months now.

"Miscarriage is a quiet funeral attended only by the immediate mourners."

The waiting was over. The worst was confirmed. The question remained: Where do we go from here?

"I 'squoze' so hard I stopped your heart from beating."

Even before we found out I was pregnant we had been toying with the idea of moving. Our one bedroom apartment was old news and we were so over not having enough space to live. And tripping over each other in a cramped space just wasn't an option anymore after we saw those two pink lines.

Off to Craig's List we went to find an apartment that fit us, our stuff, our baby and our budget. And eventually we found one! 

Good news, bad news.

I've just made public a post I wrote many months ago and saved as a draft. I intended to make that post public much sooner but then things changed. Considering the subject of the post was announcing my pregnancy, I no longer had a need to make it public since only one month after it was written, we lost our baby.

*The following is a post I wrote back in December of 2010*

Before reading please realize what I am about to share is very personal and very painful. My one request before you continue: please keep any comments and questions about anything you read here off of facebook. I understand I am sharing this blog with tons of people since it is public, but I'd like to keep my facebook page a positive place. 

Need. More. Time.

With a few rough months behind me, I think it's time to focus on some positive and easily attainable goals to lift my spirits a bit. And by goals, I don't mean things like losing 10 lbs (although I should highly consider that one...) or getting a raise (I'm a teacher. Stop laughing.). I mean fun, meaningful activities that I don't always get the chance to do.

We all have them... You know all those things you wish you could do if only you "had more time?" Lately I've been thinking about all those things... And with the pink slip I received a couple weeks ago--standard procedure in my district for all non tenured teachers--and the the way things are going for public school teachers right now, there is a chance "thinking" about those things may actually turn into an opportunity to "do" those things in a couple of months.

Now let me preface this by saying, I am not worried too concerned about my job next year. I might be tempting Fate here, but I know the kids need to be taught and they will need teachers to teach them. However, a pink slip is a pink slip and nothing is guaranteed.

But, back to those "things" ... I've compiled a list of things I'd love to do with a little more free time.

New digs!

My apologies, dear readers. I have been too wrapped up with many things happening in the last few weeks that I have slacked on bringing you all of the most minor of my life's details. D is in Belgium right now so I have some time to sit down, get my pictures together and show you what has been taking up the majority of my time lately!

D and I are finally all (for the most part) settled into our new apartment but still working out some left over decor issues. Here are some before shots:

Moving is awesome!

Except for the fact that it's not. It's so not awesome. At all. The new place is awesome. And it will be even more awesome when we get all our stuff in and we're all settled... but in the meantime? So completely the exact opposite of awesome.

We took the place I fell in love with and already have the key. Luckily we don't have to be out of our apartment now until the end of February. So we have the entire month to move. Fortunately we live close enough to the new place that we can pack things up and drive them over a few nights a week. All the big stuff will make the transition on Feb. 19th.

I can't wait to be in the new place. Everything is in disarray. I feel like I'm on an episode of Hoarders. And for those of you who think you have a messy house, I have photographic evidence that my living quarters are currently a million times worse than yours.

We may have found a new apartment...

...but taking it would be a leap of faith. It's in a six-unit building and the apartment we looked at is under renovations. A lot of them. We saw it today and it's a hot mess. However, we love the layout and I trust the owners of the building. They own a fabulous, luxury high rise close by that people pay a pretty penny to live in. I am confident that they are doing this right and the end result will be a beautiful apartment, completed in the time frame they promised, that we are very happy with.

2010 Highlights

Although I am hoping 2011 brings about bigger and better things, 2010 is definitely worth taking a look back at.

The year began with me midway through my first year of teaching. It was a struggle but I was enjoying every minute of it, while D was celebrating 4 years at his current job.